This bookshelf is painted a light purple, but can easily be re-painted.

The couch and the trunk are up for grabs.

 One dresser is painted light purple (same as the bookshelf), but can easily be re-painted.

Just the table in this picture.  The TV is already spoken for.

Don't take anything personally

Earlier this week, a friend sent me an email that made me say "Fuck You" about 5 times.  Out loud.  The email was full of unsolicited advice.  And she told me that my "notion was crap and a cop out and that I needed to get over it".  My initial reaction was to spew back some venom "Way to shit on a friend -- or I guess, just an ex-coworker".  But I stayed my hand.  That's not the kind of person I want to be.  So all I replied was "Wow.  I'm not sure what I can say to this email.  Seriously, wow.  This was really hurtful."

Then all evening I kept thinking:  How dare she!?  Seriously, who does she think she is?  Giving me advice on something I already have a handle on?  It'd be one thing if she was in a place to give advice - you know - if her life was something to emulate or if I wanted to be like her in ANY way.  But it's not and I don't.  Overall, she's a pretty miserable person.  There is not one thing about her that I wish I had.  So who does she think she is  - giving ME advice?!  And telling me that my "notion" is "crap" and a "cop out" and that I need to get over it.  OMFG!  I don't have a problem with it.  There is nothing to "get over".  And seriously, I can think of several things SHE needs to get over.

All of this played out in my head over and over.  I got pretty worked up about it.  I kept telling myself to let go of it.  It's not worth my getting so worked up.  Then it would all ramp up again.  And I'd tell myself to let go of it, she's not worth all this aggravation that I'm causing myself.  Don't let your happiness be affected by one stupid email.  Yeah, but how do I do that?  I'm pissed, she hurt my feelings - and besides that - I'M RIGHT.  Then I heard Dr. Phil's voice ask "Do you want to be right?  Or do you want to be happy?"  Argh!  Leianne, let it go!  Yeah!  But how do you do that?

I've spent many years being sad and depressed, the last thing I need to do is let something as small as an email from a friend jeopardize the happiness I have spent so much time and effort cultivating.  So I tried to let it go.  I didn't do a very good job of it that evening.

I read each night before I go to sleep.  The book I'm reading now is called The Four Agreements - A Toltec Wisdom Book by don Miguel Ruiz.  The chapter I read that night was on the second agreement "Don't Take Anything Personally".  I could quote the whole chapter here - it was that pertinent.  It is amazing to me how The Universe gives you exactly what you need when you need it - if you're open to it.  I've had this book on my shelf for years and years.  I started reading it before and got distracted or didn't care for it or whatever.  Right when I needed the lesson, it was in my hands.  Seriously, I find that amazing.
From the book:

When you take things personally, then you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts.  You make something big out of something so little, because you have the need to be right and make everybody else wrong.

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Whatever you think, whatever you feel, I know is about your problem and not my problem. It is the way you see the world.  It is nothing personal, because you are dealing with yourself, not with me.  Others are going to have their own opinion according to their belief system, so nothing they think about me is really about me, but it is about them.

Even the opinions you have about yourself are not necessarily true; therefore, you don't need to take whatever you hear in your own mind personally. 

Some of the assumptions I was making (which is the third Agreement - Don't Make Assumptions) were: She thinks I'm too stupid to know what I'm doing.  She sees me as "less than" - someone who can't take care of herself.  Someone who can't tie her own shoes.  I'm just an idiot.  And so on and so forth.  Blah, blah, blah.

...by taking things personally, you set yourself up to suffer for nothing.

Yep, for nothing.

If you keep this agreement, you can travel around the world with your heart completely open and no one can hurt you.  You can say, "I love you," without fear of being ridiculed or rejected.  You can ask for what you need.  You can say yes, or you can say no - whatever you choose - without guilt or self-judgment.  You can choose to follow your heart always.  Then you can be in the middle of hell, and still experience inner peace and happiness.  You can stay in your state of bliss, and hell will not affect you at all.

 Yes, yes, yes!  This is how I want to live my life.  With my heart wide open.  With no fear of being hurt.    Which was one of the reasons I've been delaying starting this blog.  I was afraid of being hurt.  I've read too many nasty comments on other blogs and news articles.  I didn't want to expose myself to that negativity.  But now, I can open my heart and my blog and not take any of it personally.

As for my friend that sent the email that opened me up to this lesson, she is a wonderful person.  She is worth it.  She helped me through an extraordinarily hard time earlier this year.  I feel very grateful to know her.  She's got a lot of fantastic qualities that I admire - we never would have hit it off in the first place if she didn't.  All of the venom that went through my mind was all about ME.  But, I'm not going to take that personally.